Wednesday, March 19, 2008

In a While Crocodile

Waking, waking, sleeping bluster. Finding cover, twisting under. Fighting. Breathing. Find a mean thing. Hide? No. No. Wall once here, now not more. Falling like a dark thing, fall. Fall, fall, hit. Shit. Thump. Flailing. Trailing; away. Awake again. Toss, turn. Eyes closed, "...they want to".

Ma calling. Ring. Awake now, hauling. Water. Tablets. Stuck in swallow. Find something, panic. "SWALLOW" Damp colours in egg shapes; turning to put a hand on them. Eat. Look, place on finger. Ringer. The Finger. Dangerous. Wanting same. Size. Shape. Admiring pretty to hand outstretched.

Note-book-down. She cannot but frown. Or talk. No, she's scared. Papers. Filing, finding. Looking. Look, look, look. Hiding papers - naughty ones. Numbers, words, unhappy makers. Vampire stories, morning glories. Ha. Not now. "Not you", no glory, mourning. Needs a wanting, hormone thumpin'. Whores moan. Bored moan. Smores hoan. Bore (w)hole. Ha, ha, ha. Try-pan-in. Blood and sand. Blood. They bleed not of the hand. Below the waste. Hush your mouth, must not disgrace. Dad has found you. Words like his. Him a talkin', trippety - trap! Will you come walkin'? Back here to me. Never. I joke. A jester, soot. Shoot. "Suit's You Sir". Daft.

Mutter, mutter. Too much clutter to separate them from me and eyes from us. We are here but they are not. Too many signs. Signifiers. Sigh them down. Make small they will, be. Pay. No money to pay. Call to pay, "Just call". Pay. Date wrong address wrong, charges dropped. Taxes yellow, green at most. Bluster fuster trying to muster. Strength in number - no, not at all. Alone, wanting: "Do Not Disturb". Songs and lyrics, noise that I don't want. Berlin. Felix, Mr Kubin, to you Sir. Words and wanting. A crying girl - she rocks.

No she don't. Silly. Up she get again and again. Clothes that hang, life from a neck. Porridge boils, sweet with syrup. Tea, later for sympathy. Boys they shhhhh. Quietly ignoring. Shhhh. Boring they are. No time to play or say, "Hello". Shhhh. You say to voices when they call. Go away, come again another day. If you must. Just not today. "No!" not ever. Peace I find, maybe somewhere in mind. To go.

Hair is dusty, like old attic. Static. Bathroom. Sun through dirty glass a pouring. Outside books, line walls. Words want reading. Homework needing - Thursday for her. Shouting. "Must do better". Friends want holding. Hands. Friday next and what say you? You won't come back will you? You? I know you. I think; "I knew". Old souls come crashing. Hand on heart, a craic-ing. I want you back. Please? You won't come 'till 'fixed' a-clock. Will you? No, no, no, no. Not at all. I feel you stay away. Until later. Gater, alligator. In a while, "Oh crocodile...".

1 comment:

MasterQ said...

Kudos again. I laughed aloud at "Whores Moan. Bored moan. Smores hoan." because the part about Smores was such an unexpected twist. xD